Be a Drama Machine?

The subject of drama, and women’s need for it in relationships, came up on SSM’s comment thread this weekend.  Women — all women, even (especially?) the ones who say they hate drama — love it and crave it.

I think this leads to a lot of guys taking the red pill and then saying, “Ugh, too much work, never mind.”  It’s easy to get the idea that the only way to keep a woman content is to supply a never-ending supply of drama — just enough to keep the hamster going, but not enough to send her to her mother’s house for a week.  It seems like you’re trading the job of supplying her with gifts and affection for the job of supplying her with drama.

It sounds like an endless, exhausting task.  You just want a happy home where you can watch a little TV and play with the kids and mow the yard, but you won’t be able to enjoy that because you’ll have to be watching for signs of ennui from your woman and generating some drama to keep her interested.  No guy wants to do that; no guy wants to invent an argument with his woman when he’s not mad about anything.

I think (hope) that overstates it, though.  As taterearl said,

1. Don’t be boring.
2. Don’t be a suck up.

There will be a never ending supply of the right kind of drama if a guy does that.

So it doesn’t have to be major fights or cry-fests.  Just don’t be afraid to say no once in a while, and that’ll provide her with some minor irritation to mull over.  Tease her, keep her guessing, which is fun anyway.  If she’s reasonably mentally healthy, that should be enough.

That’s probably not enough for some women, though.  If she has a personality disorder, major drama may seem so ordinary to her that if you go a week without cussing at her she’ll think you don’t love her anymore.  Those kinds of cases don’t fit into the normal mode, and women who are that messed up shouldn’t be marrying anyway.  Their need for drama does exceed anything a normal man could provide, or would want to provide.

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3 thoughts on “Be a Drama Machine?

  1. To misquote Eric Hoffer, modern people cannot operate at room temperature anymore. Everything has to be EXCITING and DRAMATIC and HOLY CRAP! OH NO (S)HE DIDN’T!

    Everyday, mundane stuff is beyond boring, it’s a dragon to be slain with a snarky insult and a “You go grrl!”

  2. These seem like reasonable suggestions. I would also add, “Talk to her about interesting stuff.” Not just home life either – I love getting into deep discussions with my man and tossing ideas and thoughts back and forth. It satisfies some of the need for mystery and drama.

  3. I don’t remember where I learned this, but women especially like to talk about people. Of course, you have to keep that from turning into gossip. But short of that, talking about people and the things they do will hold a woman’s interest much better than abstract topics. So if you’re in a restaurant, watch the people around you and talk about them — do they seem busy, is someone talking really loud, having a birthday, whatever. And if you are talking about something abstract — say prayer, for instance — talk about how it affects you or other people you know. Always bring it back to people.

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