Someone at Dalrock’s recently asked him how taking the red pill caused him to have more empathy for women. This partial comment inspired me to write a little about that here:
An initial hatred of women after a red pill experience makes sense. A man has learned he has been lied to by those he was taught to trust.
True, that’s often the first reaction: “I’ve been lied to about women, and my ignorance allowed women to take advantage of me in various ways, and therefore women are nefarious.” For me, the empathy came when I realized that women had been lied to as well — with consequences perhaps even more dire than those men experience. I’ve said this before, but a man who discovers the red pill at 40 can still find a younger wife and have a few kids if that’s his inclination. A woman who figures things out at 40 and wants the same thing is typically out of luck.
A man who spends his 20s having sex with every attractive woman who’s willing will have spiritual and relationship issues from that, to be sure. But if he repents and changes his ways, he can put that behind him and be a good husband. A woman who does the same, having sex with any man she finds attractive enough for a decade, will be broken in serious ways, and quite possibly incapable of being a good wife.
Look at what women are taught today, practically from the cradle:
- You’re just as good as a man in every way, except the ways in which you’re better.
- People really like a woman who’s independent, feisty, and doesn’t take any crap from anyone.
- Sex is awesome, and while we don’t want you picking up a pregnancy or STD at 16, being a prude is even worse, socially. Nudge nudge.
- Only weak men want virgins; a real man will appreciate the experience you bring to the bedroom.
- It’s important to establish a career. You’ll have plenty of time for marriage and kids after you get your degree(s).
- The best relationships grow out of bad experiences (drama). If it seems too easy, something’s missing.
- Marriage should be 50/50 in all areas. A good man will do 50% of the housework and never make a decision without you or contradict one of your decisions.
- A good man will trust you no matter what, and if he objects to anything you want to do, it means he’s an insecure misogynist.
- Women are smarter, wiser, and more spiritual than men.
- Men are more violent than women; they alone cause wars and crime.
- Boys are gross.
Now, every single line of that is a lie, and those are just the highlights. Girls today are sold an entire bill of goods that seems designed to get them on the carousel, burn up their best years, and leave them broken, unhappy, and wondering what ever happened to their prince. (Consider also that with some minor tweaks to the lines about sex, this is exactly what most Christian girls are taught too.)
So yeah, I have empathy. That doesn’t mean they’re not responsible for their actions, or that I don’t hold their bad actions against them. It just means I have empathy. You can understand a person and empathize with her without letting her off the hook.