Should the Red Pill Lead to Hatred or Empathy?

Someone at Dalrock’s recently asked him how taking the red pill caused him to have more empathy for women.  This partial comment inspired me to write a little about that here:

An initial hatred of women after a red pill experience makes sense. A man has learned he has been lied to by those he was taught to trust.

True, that’s often the first reaction: “I’ve been lied to about women, and my ignorance allowed women to take advantage of me in various ways, and therefore women are nefarious.” For me, the empathy came when I realized that women had been lied to as well — with consequences perhaps even more dire than those men experience. I’ve said this before, but a man who discovers the red pill at 40 can still find a younger wife and have a few kids if that’s his inclination. A woman who figures things out at 40 and wants the same thing is typically out of luck.

A man who spends his 20s having sex with every attractive woman who’s willing will have spiritual and relationship issues from that, to be sure. But if he repents and changes his ways, he can put that behind him and be a good husband. A woman who does the same, having sex with any man she finds attractive enough for a decade, will be broken in serious ways, and quite possibly incapable of being a good wife.

Look at what women are taught today, practically from the cradle:

  • You’re just as good as a man in every way, except the ways in which you’re better.
  • People really like a woman who’s independent, feisty, and doesn’t take any crap from anyone.
  • Sex is awesome, and while we don’t want you picking up a pregnancy or STD at 16, being a prude is even worse, socially. Nudge nudge.
  • Only weak men want virgins; a real man will appreciate the experience you bring to the bedroom.
  • It’s important to establish a career. You’ll have plenty of time for marriage and kids after you get your degree(s).
  • The best relationships grow out of bad experiences (drama). If it seems too easy, something’s missing.
  • Marriage should be 50/50 in all areas. A good man will do 50% of the housework and never make a decision without you or contradict one of your decisions.
  • A good man will trust you no matter what, and if he objects to anything you want to do, it means he’s an insecure misogynist.
  • Women are smarter, wiser, and more spiritual than men.
  • Men are more violent than women; they alone cause wars and crime.
  • Boys are gross.

Now, every single line of that is a lie, and those are just the highlights. Girls today are sold an entire bill of goods that seems designed to get them on the carousel, burn up their best years, and leave them broken, unhappy, and wondering what ever happened to their prince. (Consider also that with some minor tweaks to the lines about sex, this is exactly what most Christian girls are taught too.)

So yeah, I have empathy. That doesn’t mean they’re not responsible for their actions, or that I don’t hold their bad actions against them. It just means I have empathy. You can understand a person and empathize with her without letting her off the hook.

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7 thoughts on “Should the Red Pill Lead to Hatred or Empathy?

  1. Anger about the sinfulness…empathy because of the results.

    Which is why even though it goes through one ear and out the other…I still tell women take accountability for your actions. It’s the first step towards forgiveness and putting that pain and hurt away. It’s sad when many of them prefer and even take pride holding onto the results of sin.

  2. In fact that might be the downside of solipsism…holding onto sins.

    I can tell you this…that’s something I don’t want to hang onto anymore. I hated that guy…and not coincidentally my mood and how I viewed myself improved when I went to confession almost weekly.

    This is an example of manning up to women…and leading them out of their weaker nature. Come to think of it…I didn’t really start loving women until I started to tell them to take accountability for their actions…because that is when I started to love myself.

  3. I don’t see why you would want to show empathy until AFTER women have:

    1) Acknowledged the destruction their bad behavior has caused
    2) Expressed genuine regret
    3) Attempted to make things right

    Until then, you’re essentially forgiving someone while they are still punching you in the face.

    In other words, I don’t see the point of expressing empathy while they are still inflicting damage.

    I can appreciate how focusing internally on positive rather than negative emotions can improve your own mood and blood pressure. But, I suspect that women will take any positive outward expressions (such as empathy) as acceptance of their behavior, which will reinforce it. I see no point in praising women for indulging in their worst aspects of their nature.

    Disapproval and anger are proper responses to injustice, and are useful for sending a message, such as, What you are doing is no longer OK, and You’ve crossed a boundary. I don’t see women’s behavior improving until, at a minimum, unearned positive reinforcement is removed.

    Male-female relationships are certainly unbalanced enough as it is, and I don’t want to add one-sided empathy to that imbalance.

  4. You kind of answered your question in the middle of your comment: empathy is an internal emotion. It doesn’t have to cause me to be nice to women who don’t deserve it. While empathizing with a woman who has been confused and led astray by the system, I also know that what she needs from me as a man is not supplication, but boundaries and limits on what kind of behavior I will accept in my presence.

  5. Men are more violent than women, in aggregate. And in 99% of cases, warmongers are men. That does not mean that men are bad, per se, it’s just how some of them are. Which is why countries need armies, there are courts and police.

    A very dangerous thing that women are taught is that the two sexes have similar levels of strength and fighting ability. A very dangerous belief.

    Though in general, your list is good. If you ever have daughters you will have much more empathy for them and their situation. I don’t look forward to their teenage years where psychopaths are studying ways to screw with their heads, while spending a lot of their waking hours developing fetishes and strange expectations through internet porn, looking to treat my daughter as some disposable sex object. And when some of her friends are going to be mindless sheep who have imbibed the general TV programming. I’m sure it’s going to be a minefield.

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