At Vox Populi this morning, a commenter suggested that the CDC’s mistakes in controlling Ebola are due to funding cuts.
I was thinking: wouldn’t it be nice to be able to use that excuse in your private life? Slept with your wife’s sister? Not enough funding! Oh, you don’t think there’s a connection? That just shows you lack the imagination of a career bureaucrat. Obviously, if you just had Moar Funding, you could afford to buy your wife a personal trainer and a personal dietician, so she’d always be perfectly fit, plus you could get her the hottest clothes and lingerie. With all that, you never would have been tempted to bang her sister! It wasn’t your fault, you just lacked funding!
See how easy it is? I think I’m going to try that for a while. Every time I screw up and let people down — especially if there are any deaths involved — I’ll just claim I need Moar Funding.