(If this one looks familiar, it’s because I posted it a while back, but somehow made it a Page instead of a Post. That’s annoying because it makes it look like my central thesis or something, when it’s just some offhand musing. If I were running this WordPress on my own site, I could change it in the database; but I can’t do that here, so I just have to copy it and let it show up as a new post. Enjoy again, I guess.)
Something I’ve noticed is that a woman who’s happy with her man doesn’t waste time on Facebook or other social media (not counting business usage, of course). I’ve seen the same pattern over and over: girl is on FB every day, sharing silly pictures and liking all her friends’ stuff. Then she meets a new guy and disappears online for a while. She may post pictures of herself and her new man now and then to brag, but the frivolous stuff will stop. Her page may even go dark for months. Then one day she’s back, and you can tell they’ve broken up or she’s not happy. Rinse and repeat.
What brought this glaringly to my attention was a particular girl’s page. I don’t even know her; I saw her on a dating site and thought she had potential, so I tracked her down on FB (easy to do when you live in a small enough town, as long as she uses the same pictures). That revealed more potential but also some red flags, so I thought I’d just observe for a while. Not too long after, she posted a picture of herself with a new short haircut — which all her friends gushed over, of course — so that didn’t help. Some days later, she posted a picture of herself with a new guy, and some happy stuff about soulmates or whatever. No activity for a while, then one day all that was gone — not just dropped off the page, but deleted — and she posted some pablum captions about how it’s better to live alone than with someone who doesn’t love you, blah blah blah. Then a couple weeks later, all those were gone, and the picture of the two of them was back! She’s gone through that same cycle a few times now, with the same picture of the same guy. Looks like I dodged a bullet on that one.
That got me thinking about other women I know online, especially relatives and close friends whose personal lives I’m familiar with. The ones who are reasonably happy at home just don’t spend much time on there. When they do post, it’s stuff about their kids, or recipes or crafts — things they’re actually doing — and the friends who comment on their stuff tend to be other moms or family members who are in the same boat. They don’t post pictures with captions about strong women, or take endless tests to find out what kind of flower they are.
The women who do that stuff are the unattached or unhappy ones. Of course, they post about how happy and busy they are, but there’s a frantic, try-hard feel to it. Rarely is any of it about something that matters.
So if you see a girl posting a lot of silly stuff on FB, you can figure she’s immediately available, regardless of what her status says or how many pics there are of her with a boyfriend. On the other hand, if your own wife or girlfriend is the one doing it….well, don’t be surprised if you get the “love you but not in love with you” speech before long.