We Would Have Won, Too, If Not for Those Pesky Proles

Here’s what gentry Republicans are saying with their frantic attempts to derail the Trump Train. I’ve translated from Beltway-speak to standard American English for better understanding.

“Trump is attracting exactly the kind of NASCAR-watching, barely-literate, beer-guzzling, racist, sexist, trailer-park trash that we’ve spent years insisting at cocktail parties are NOT a meaningful part of our party. (Democrats are the real racists!) These are the people TV comedians mean when they sneer about “red-staters” being unwashed hicks churning out babies like rabbits. They don’t even know the difference between a 501c3 and a 501c4! They couldn’t point out Iraq’s most important oil fields on a map, let alone explain why it’s critical that we continue bombing the place.

“We’ve worked hard for decades to distance ourselves from these people by throwing more money at non-whites, giving heartfelt MLK Jr. Day speeches, and proving how much we care about asylum- and work-seekers from other countries — and now the Trump campaign is bringing these horrible people front and center. The other parents at our child’s elite private school won’t even talk to us anymore!

“We don’t want these people in our party. Decent, anti-racist Americans aren’t going to want to be seen going to the polls with them. They’ll probably be hungover on election day and forget to vote anyway. So Trump can’t win, and we don’t want him to, so we’ll do anything — even burn down the party we claim to be trying to save — to get rid of him and these rubes who support him.”

End translation.

Trump represents a new, loosely organized party, the White Prole Party. However, because the two-party system has created a structure where third parties have no chance, he had to commandeer one of the two parties to have a viable campaign. That’s okay, no one was using the GOP anyway — except the Democrats, as a foil — so it’s about time someone put it to use. If he wins, it will make this new alignment permanent, and the gentry Republicans will have nowhere to go, which is what their hysteria is really about. We don’t need another party to hold their globalist, crony-capitalist, war-seeking positions anymore; the Democrats have taken those over. They don’t want to go Democrat — and the Democrats probably wouldn’t have them — but they sure as hell don’t want to stand with people who might occasionally say unspeakable things like, “You know, sometimes I wonder if Israel has too much influence on American policy.” So they’ll be out in the cold, possibly even without a job. Losing they could take; that just means more work for the next election. This would be far worse.

[Hat-tip to Derb for “gentry Republicans” and “white prole party.”]

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2 thoughts on “We Would Have Won, Too, If Not for Those Pesky Proles

  1. Bravo, Cail. If anything, you have underestimated the seriousness of the situation for these folks. These Yankee Puritan/Gentry types have controlled the GOP since 1854 (with some significant challenges in 1912, 1952, 1964, and 1980). If this crowd loses it to the extent that you are suggesting, this will represent the disenthronement of a power base dating back 162 years. One can almost HEAR Earl Warren, Henry Cabot Lodge, George Romney, and Charles Sumner groaning from their crypts.

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